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Avg: 4.5 (12 ratings)
- Genre: Soundtracks/Other
- Style: Comedy, Spoken Word
- Label: Hachette Audio
Stephen Colbert, Patton Oswalt and a host of others take lessons from failed relationships.
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We Say...
"Lost to the mists of time" is a phrase oft-repeated in the short stories that make up Things I've Learned from Women Who've Dumped Me. But while the specifics of past relationships may escape the memory of these authors, the lessons are searing: "Girls Don't Make Passes at Boys With Fat Asses," "Persistence Is for Suckers," "Nine Years Is the Exact Right Amount of Time to Be in a Bad Relationship."
Ben Karlin, former executive producer of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report, reached out to the sorts of writers he knows best for this humorous collection of tales that impart the wisdom that can only be gained after, say, seeing your girlfriend ride away on her math tutor's motorcycle. Stephen Colbert, Patton Oswalt, David Wain, Andy Richter and Will Forte are just a few of the contributors that detail some of the awful relationships in which they've taken part. But this is no misogynistic fantasy land: much of the humor is self-directed, most notably in Karlin's own story, titled "You Too Will Get Crushed." (Listen to it back to back with the introduction provided by Karlin's mother, Barbara, "I Think My Son Is a Catch" and compare notes.)
For those uninterested in the power of the sexes, though, there is respite along the way. Neal Pollack's story deals more with his beloved cat, Larry Wilmore's woman is his infant daughter and Jason Nash simply wants us to remember not to enter a karaoke contest near Smith College. (You will, apparently, lose to lesbians.) A lesson, after listening to this audiobook, which assuredly will never, ever be lost to the mists of time.
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| 01. |
Title Announcements |
0:43 |
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| 02. |  |
Foreward: I Think My Son Is a Catch
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2:47 |
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| 03. | |
Introduction by Nick Hornby (Part 1)
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4:04 |
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| 04. | |
Introduction by Nick Hornby (Part 2)
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4:16 |
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| 05. | |
Sex Is the Most Stressful Thing in the History of the Universe (Part 1)
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4:00 |
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| 06. | |
Sex Is the Most Stressful Thing in the History of the Universe (Part 2)
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4:13 |
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| 07. | |
Sex Is the Most Stressful Thing in the History of the Universe (Part 3)
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4:01 |
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| 08. | |
Girls Don't Make Passes at Boys with Fat Asses (Part 1)
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3:41 |
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| 09. | |
Girls Don't Make Passes at Boys with Fat Asses (Part 2)
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3:27 |
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| 10. | |
Beware of Math Tutors Who Ride Motorcycles (Part 1)
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4:55 |
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| 11. | |
Beware of Math Tutors Who Ride Motorcycles (Part 2)
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4:13 |
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| 12. | |
Beware of Math Tutors Who Ride Motorcycles (Part 3)
|
4:28 |
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| 13. | |
Eggs Must Be Broken (Part 1)
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4:49 |
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| 14. | |
Eggs Must Be Broken (Part 2)
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4:39 |
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| 15. | |
Persistence Is for Suckers (Part 1)
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4:40 |
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| 16. | |
Persistence Is for Suckers (Part 2)
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4:14 |
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| 17. | |
The Heart Is a Choking Hazzard (Part 1)
|
3:13 |
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| 18. | |
The Heart Is a Choking Hazzard (Part 2)
|
2:30 |
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18 Total Tracks, 68:53 Total Length
eMusic Tip
Paid downloads are counted towards an album discount but free downloads are not.
COMPLETE FOR FREE!
You can download the rest of the tracks from this album for free! Just click the Complete Album button.
We’re sorry this album can only be downloaded using paid subscription download credits.
We recommend you Save it for Later by clicking the Save for Later button shown just above this message. For a list of related albums you can download right now, check out these recommendations.
We'll give you 52 additional free credits to download this album and start your paid subscription.
Get 52 bonus credits on us if you download this album. Sweet!
| 01. | |
Don't Come on Your Cat (Part 1)
|
4:33 |
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| 02. | |
Don't Come on Your Cat (Part 2)
|
3:59 |
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| 03. | |
Don't Come on Your Cat (Part 3)
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4:46 |
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| 04. | |
Women Are Never Too Young to Mess with Your Heads (Part 1)
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3:53 |
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| 05. | |
Women Are Never Too Young to Mess with Your Heads (Part 2)
|
3:46 |
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| 06. | |
Women Are Never Too Young to Mess with Your Heads (Part 3)
|
4:30 |
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| 07. | |
Women Are Never Too Young to Mess with Your Heads (Part 4)
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3:59 |
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| 08. | |
A Grudge Can Be Art (Part 1)
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4:48 |
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| 09. | |
A Grudge Can Be Art (Part 2)
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4:22 |
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| 10. | |
Don't Leave Too Much Room for the Holy Spirit (Part 1)
|
3:24 |
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| 11. | |
Don't Leave Too Much Room for the Holy Spirit (Part 2)
|
3:24 |
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| 12. | |
Don't Leave Too Much Room for the Holy Spirit (Part 3)
|
4:10 |
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| 13. | |
Don't Leave Too Much Room for the Holy Spirit (Part 4)
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4:00 |
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| 14. | |
I’m Easy (Part 1)
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2:58 |
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| 15. | |
I’m Easy (Part 2)
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4:13 |
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| 16. | |
I Am a Gay Man (Part 1)
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3:48 |
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| 17. | |
I Am a Gay Man (Part 2)
|
3:34 |
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| 18. | |
I Am a Gay Man (Part 3)
|
3:34 |
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18 Total Tracks, 71:41 Total Length
eMusic Tip
Paid downloads are counted towards an album discount but free downloads are not.
COMPLETE FOR FREE!
You can download the rest of the tracks from this album for free! Just click the Complete Album button.
We’re sorry this album can only be downloaded using paid subscription download credits.
We recommend you Save it for Later by clicking the Save for Later button shown just above this message. For a list of related albums you can download right now, check out these recommendations.
We'll give you 52 additional free credits to download this album and start your paid subscription.
Get 52 bonus credits on us if you download this album. Sweet!
| 01. | |
Nine Years Is the Exact Right Amount of Time to Be in a Bad Relationship (Part 1)
|
4:43 |
|
| 02. | |
Nine Years Is the Exact Right Amount of Time to Be in a Bad Relationship (Part 2)
|
4:24 |
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| 03. | |
You Too Will Get Crushed (Part 1) |
4:42 |
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| 04. | |
You Too Will Get Crushed (Part 2) |
3:55 |
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| 05. | |
You Too Will Get Crushed (Part 3) |
4:22 |
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| 06. | |
Things More Majestic and Terrible Than You Could Ever Imagine (Part 1)
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3:34 |
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| 07. | |
Things More Majestic and Terrible Than You Could Ever Imagine (Part 2)
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3:28 |
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| 08. | |
Things More Majestic and Terrible Than You Could Ever Imagine (Part 3)
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4:12 |
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| 09. | |
Dating a Stripper Is a Recipe for Perspective (Part 1)
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4:02 |
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| 10. | |
Dating a Stripper Is a Recipe for Perspective (Part 2)
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3:20 |
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| 11. | |
Don't Enter a Karaoke Contest Near Smith College; You Will Lose to Lesbians (Part 1)
|
4:05 |
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| 12. | |
Don't Enter a Karaoke Contest Near Smith College; You Will Lose to Lesbians (Part 2)
|
4:13 |
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| 13. | |
Notes Towards a Unified Theory of Dumping (Part 1)
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4:40 |
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| 14. | |
Notes Towards a Unified Theory of Dumping (Part 2)
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3:54 |
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| 15. | |
Notes Towards a Unified Theory of Dumping (Part 3)
|
4:00 |
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| 16. | |
Closing Announcements |
8:07 |
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16 Total Tracks, 69:41 Total Length
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