Two out of three...
The title track really, truly, deeply sucks. It's a drinking song...maybe not a bad thing in itself, but it greatly reduces its usefulness as Christmas music. Merry Xmas Everybody is a cover of the classic Slade tune from 1973, done indie style. Can't go wrong there, with two good things going for it. Teenage Christmas reminds me of the fictional TV show "Sawing for Teens." That's a good thing, too.