Things I've Learned from Women Who've Dumped Me

Stephen Colbert, Patton Oswalt and a host of others take lessons from failed relationships.
"Lost to the mists of time" is a phrase oft-repeated in the short stories that make up Things I've Learned from Women Who've Dumped Me. But while the specifics of past relationships may escape the memory of these authors, the lessons are searing: "Girls Don't Make Passes at Boys With Fat Asses," "Persistence Is for Suckers," "Nine Years Is the Exact Right Amount of Time to Be in a Bad Relationship."

Ben Karlin, former executive producer of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report, reached out to the sorts of writers he knows best for this humorous collection of tales that impart the wisdom that can only be gained after, say, seeing your girlfriend ride away on her math tutor's motorcycle. Stephen Colbert, Patton Oswalt, David Wain, Andy Richter and Will Forte are just a few of the contributors that detail some of the awful relationships in which they've taken part. But this is no misogynistic fantasy land: much of the humor is self-directed, most notably in Karlin's own story, titled "You Too Will Get Crushed." (Listen to it back to back with the introduction provided by Karlin's mother, Barbara, "I Think My Son Is a Catch" and compare notes.)

For those uninterested in the power of the sexes, though, there is respite along the way. Neal Pollack's story deals more with his beloved cat, Larry Wilmore's woman is his infant daughter and Jason Nash simply wants us to remember not to enter a karaoke contest near Smith College. (You will, apparently, lose to lesbians.) A lesson, after listening to this audiobook, which assuredly will never, ever be lost to the mists of time.