The eMusic Dozen: Vintage Bachelor Pad
Vintage Bachelor Pad by Dan Epstein
As a dashing, sophisticated and ridiculously wealthy freelance journalist-cum-international playboy, I often find that people like to ask me for musical recommendations. After all, my friends, a swinging lifestyle requires an equally swinging soundtrack, and I would scarcely consider mixing a cocktail, seducing an heiress or breaking the speed limit in an expensive Italian sports car without setting the mood with the proper musical accompaniment.
When the whole "lounge revival" thing kicked into gear in the mid '90s, it spawned (or at least provided a platform for) a new generation of easy-listening practitioners, like Air, Thievery Corporation and the Blue States. But while I dearly love the music of these contemporary jetsetters, it's the stuff from the Golden Age of Bachelor Pad Music — i.e., 1957-1974 — that really polishes my zodiac medallion. No ProTools, no drum machines; just seasoned musicians suavely wringing every last drop of romance and mystery from timeless melodies. Other than maybe a "mile high club" three-way with two flight attendants, I can imagine nothing sweeter.
Vintage bachelor pad grooves come in a variety of flavors: just as man cannot live on bread (and really fine wine) alone, neither can he get away with limiting his smooth sounds to Herb Alpert and Astrud Gilberto. EZ listening transcendence can come via a square old bandleader who's trying to seem hip for the kids, a jazz soloist "slumming" his way through a Top 40 pop song, a throwaway snippet from a film score, a sanitized samba or a thousand other channels. The following twelve records are a diverse lot, but every one of them can make the humblest of hovels swing like the grooviest bachelor pad.
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The Colors of Brazil/African Blue
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- Artist: Les Baxter
Release Date: 1993
- Artist: Les Baxter
The first rule of bachelor pad music is that there is no such thing as a bad version of Francis Lai's "A Man and a Woman" (a.k.a. "Un Homme et Une Femme"), and this Baxter two-fer from the '60s contains one of the classiest interpretations ever waxed. Baxter's lush arrangements of Brazilian bossas like "A Felicidade" and "Tristeza" aren't exactly "traditional" (ditto for ersatz African tracks like the slow-burning "Johannesburg Blues"), but they're extremely intoxicating nonetheless.
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Rusty Bryant Returns
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- Artist: Rusty Bryant
Release Date: 1969
- Artist: Rusty Bryant
No disrespect to Bryant — a very solid sax player who paid some considerable dues on the '50s R&B and jazz circuits — but it's guitarist Grant Green and organist Sonny Phillips who really make this 1969 soul-jazz session cook. Jazz purists may have hated this kind of stuff, but there's nothing like the extended boogaloo grooves of "The Cat" and "Streak O' Lean" to kick your cocktail party into a higher, slightly funkier gear.
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Legends Of Acid Jazz
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- Artist: Trudy Pitts and Pat Martino
Release Date: 1999
- Artist: Trudy Pitts and Pat Martino
This collection of late-'60s tracks from organist Pitts and guitarist Martino pretty much splits the difference between soul-jazz and lounge, which is no bad thing. Pitts' husky voice is admittedly something of an acquired taste, but you can't argue with such sublime instrumentals as "Take Five," "What The World Needs Now" and (yes!) "A Man and a Woman." And their peppy version of Herb Alpert's "The Spanish Flea" will certainly enliven the nude Twister games at your next key party.
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Tough!
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- Artist: Pucho and His Latin Soul Brothers
Release Date: 1967
- Artist: Pucho and His Latin Soul Brothers
It doesn't matter how self-conscious, awkward and shy you may be; put on a Pucho record, and in no time you'll be feeling suave, saucy and smooth. This collection of percolating tracks from 1965-66 shows the bandleader and his pals injecting just the right amount of Latin soul into such bachelor pad standards as "The Shadow of Your Smile," "Caravan," "Alfie" and "Walk On By" — the latter two offering further proof that you can never have too many groovy Burt Bacharach covers in your collection.
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Soul Flowers
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- Artist: Johnny "Hammond" Smith
Release Date: 1999
- Artist: Johnny "Hammond" Smith
When I'm spending a gloomy afternoon in my penthouse apartment recovering from a scotch hangover and pondering the future of mankind, there's nothing like Smith's slyly optimistic rendition of "Here's That Rainy Day" to put things in their proper perspective. Ditto for his upbeat take on Henry Mancini's "The Days of Wine and Roses," and his smoldering cover of Lou Rawls' "Love Is a Hurtin' Thing." This is soul-jazz with an emphasis on soul — which is just how I dig it, baby.
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Bacchannal
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- Artist: Gabor Szabo
Release Date: 2005
- Artist: Gabor Szabo
If you're planning to break out the hookah at your next soiree, don't do it without a little Gabor Szabo on hand. The Hungarian guitarist's droning, quasi-psychedelic brand of jazz is at its best on smoky interpretations of Burt Bacharach's "The Look of Love" and Paul Mauriat's "Love Is Blue" — two all-time bachelor pad classics — and his two Donovan covers ("Sunshine Superman," "Three King Fishers") are nicely trippy, too. Just the ticket for those more "contemplative" moments, if you catch my drift.
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Sounds Out Burt Bacharach
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- Artist: Cal Tjader
Release Date: 1969
- Artist: Cal Tjader
The jazz critics who slaughtered this wonderful album upon its 1969 release must have been listening with lead-lined earmuffs. Sure, the arrangements are more "pop" than the stuff Tjader cut with George Shearing and Dave Brubeck, but his fluid-yet-articulate vibraphone style really brings out the sparkle in Bacharach's sophisticated melodies — most notably on "I Say A Little Prayer," "Message to Michael" and "Walk On By." If you're not ready to loosen your tie and shake up a martini by the end of "Moneypenny," you just might be Dick Cheney.
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To-Day's Sound
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- Artist: Piero Umiliani
Release Date: 1997
- Artist: Piero Umiliani
One of the Italian cinema's finest composers — he penned the immortal nonsense anthem "Mah Na Mah Na" for the 1969 film, Svezia, Inferno E Paradiso — Piero Umiliani also created several instrumental pop albums. His best was 1971's appropriately titled To-Day's Sound; 35 years after its release, the record's spacey stew of wah-wah guitars, moog synths, reverb-heavy flutes and exotic rhythms still sounds unbelievably contemporary. Oh, and "Lady Magnolia" and "Safari Club" would be excellent soundtrack choices for that home porno tape you've been thinking about making.
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The Prestige Soul Jazz Encyclopedia
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- Artist: Various Artists - Fantasy / Prestige
Release Date: 2001
- Artist: Various Artists - Fantasy / Prestige
On those rare occasions when I bathe by myself, I always reach for this collection of late-'60s/early-'70s soul-jazz. Tracks like Richard "Groove" Holmes' "Misty" and Jack McDuff's "The Honeydripper" are smooth and soulful enough to lift the cares from my aching shoulders, yet fiery enough to keep me from falling asleep and pulling a Brian Jones. Don't miss Charles Earland's "More Today Than Yesterday," wherein the Mighty Burner somehow turns an AM pop trifle into an epic Hammond workout.
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Brazil's Greatest Hits
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- Artist: Walter Wanderley
Release Date: 1972
- Artist: Walter Wanderley
The greatest bossa nova organist of all time, Wanderley always sounded like he was playing with one foot in a Brazilian rainforest and the other in a space station lounge. This 1972 collection doesn't quite match the cosmic magnificence of his '60s Verve sides, but it comes awfully close. If you're looking to get your samba on — horizontally or otherwise — "Mas Que Nada, "One Note Samba" and "Meditation" will definitely take you where you want to go.


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