Call Me Mad Lib
You remember Mad Libs, right? The game where you’d ask a friend for a list of parts of speech — nouns, verbs, adverbs — and then you’d plug them into the blank spots in a story to hilarious results? For the final piece of our year-end package, we decided to play this game with a few artists who placed in our Best of the Year list. We sent them a list requesting 22 different parts of speech, and then we dropped their responses into a Mad Lib we designed. Unbeknownst to the artists, the Mad Lib was based on Carly Rae Jepsen’s inescapable “Call Me Maybe.” The results are both ridiculous and weirdly appropriate.
Cold Specks, “Drink Me Maybe”
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I threw a mayor in Toronto / Don't fart me, I'll never sigh / I looked to Maddie as it fell / And now you're in my dog.
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I'd jump my train for a wish / Pennies and dimes for sleep / I wasn't snoring for this,
But now you're in my house.
Your stare was singing / Ripped jeans, city was showing / Hot night, wind was chuckling / Where do you think you're... going, Spx?
Hey, I just said you / And this is awkward / But here's my blood / So drink me, maybe?
It's dry to look right / At you baby / But here's my blood / So drink me, maybe?
And all the other Jims / Try to down me / But here's my blood / So drink me, maybe?
Sharon Van Etten, “Pull Me Maybe”
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I threw a fire extinguisher in the pines / Don't melt me, I'll never skip / I looked to Heather as it fell / And now you're in my juice.
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I'd sing my tower for a wish / Pennies and dimes for a shiver / I wasn't shooing for this / But now you're in my tightrope.
Your stare was eating / Ripped jeans, snare drum was showing / Hot night, wind was trying... / Where do you think you're going, Peanut?
Hey, I just went you / And this is silky / But here's my glove / So pull me, maybe?
It's hot to look right / At you baby / But here's my glove / So pull me, maybe?
And all the other bags / Try to roll me / But here's my glove / So pull me, maybe?
The Men, “Run Me Maybe”
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I threw a burrito in the enchilada / Don't eat me, I'll never jump / I looked to Sycamore Joe as it fell / And now you're in my smoke machine.
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I'd say my cigarette for a wish / Pennies and dimes for a song / I wasn't farting for this / But now you're in my snail.
Your stare was humping / Ripped jeans, cheese was showing / Hot night, wind was copulating... / Where do you think you're going, Old Man McGillicuddy?
Hey, I just flatulated / And this is sexy / But here's my woman / So run me, maybe?
It's real stupid to look right / At you baby / But here's my woman / So run me, maybe?
And all the other sharks / Try to jump me / But here's my woman / So run me, maybe?
Allo Darlin’, “Kiss Me Maybe”
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I threw a banana on the table / Don't run me, I'll never rock out / I looked to Duncan Barrett as it fell / And now you're in my ashes.
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I'd cough my nut for a wish / Pennies and dimes for a plant / I wasn't drinking for this / But now you're in my string.
Your stare was fighting / Ripped jeans, cardigan was showing / Hot night, wind was panting... / Where do you think you're going, Thunder?
Hey, I just shoved you / And this is hard / But here's my porn / So kiss me, maybe?
It's to the max to look right / At you baby / But here's my porn / So kiss me, maybe?
And all the other telephones / Try to kick me / But here's my porn / So kiss me, maybe?
Matthew E. White, “Gargle Me Maybe”
Frankie Rose, “Slosh Me Maybe”
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I threw some cheese in the Fender Mustang / Don't kiss me, I'll never snarf / I looked to Bill Clinton as it fell / And now you're in my barnacle.
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I'd spank my ketchup for a wish/ Pennies and dimes for a slap / I wasn't singing for this / But now you're in my whiskey.
Your stare was biting / Ripped jeans, didgeridoo was showing / Hot night, wind was singing... / Where do you think you're going, Bossy Boots?
Hey, I just woofed you / And this is bitter / But here's my jelly / So slosh me, maybe?
It's bitter to look right / At you baby / But here's my jelly / So slosh me, maybe?
And all the other sangrias / Try to slap me / But here's my jelly / So slosh me, maybe?
Bowerbirds, “Squint Me Maybe”
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I threw an aardvark in the cheese grits / Don't attack me, I'll never tenderize / I looked to Phil as it fell / And now you're in my hacksaw.
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I'd slide my easy chair for a wish / Pennies and dimes for a rearrangement / I wasn't maiming for this / But now you're in my peanut.
Your stare was describing / Ripped jeans, infant was showing / Hot night, wind was scooping... / Where do you think you're going, Smallrus?
Hey, I just ruined you / And this is silky / But here's my eyelid / So squint me, maybe?
It's tender to look right / At you baby / But here's my eyelid / So squint me, maybe?
And all the other squirrels / Try to dart me / But here's my eyelid / So squint me, maybe?
Phil Elverum, “Waste Me Maybe”
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I threw a modem in the Bluetooth / Don't encrypt me, I'll never uplink / I looked to Kevin as it fell / And now you're in my USB hub.
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I'd analyze my analytics for a wish / Pennies and dimes for a CC / I wasn't linking for this / But now you're in my adapter.
Your stare was spraying / Ripped jeans, router was showing / Hot night, wind was Skyping /... Where do you think you're going, Varg?
Hey, I just juiced you / And this is robust / But here's my uptick / So waste me, maybe?
It's cutting edge to look right / At you baby / But here's my uptick / So waste me, maybe?
And all the other firewire ports / Try to weep me / But here's my uptick / So waste me, maybe?
Julia Holter, “Stun Me Maybe”
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I threw a parakeet in love / Don't love me, I'll never toss / I looked to Felix as it fell / And now you're in my candle.
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I'd stuff my stuff for a wish / Pennies and dimes for a portrayal / I wasn't singing for this / But now you're in my singer.
Your stare was shrieking / Ripped jeans, shoe was showing / Hot night, wind was swimming / Where do... you think you're going, Juju?
Hey, I just thought you / And this is enlightened / But here's my light / So stun me, maybe?
It's fancy to look right / At you baby / But here's my light / So stun me, maybe?
And all the other paws / Try to fancy me / But here's my light / So stun me, maybe?
How To Dress Well, “Become Me Maybe”
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I threw a heart in the sun / Don't overflow me, I'll never descend / I looked to Nicky as it fell / And now you're in my moon.
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I'd inspire my spirit for a wish / Pennies and dimes for a developer / I wasn't opening for this / But now you're in my eyes.
Your stare was endearing / Ripped jeans, eyes was showing / Hot night, wind was gravitating / Where... do you think you're going, Li'l Boo?
Hey, I just dreamed you / And this is expansive / But here's my sky / So become me, maybe?
It's generous to look right / At you baby / But here's my sky / So become me, maybe?
And all the other truths / Try to give me / But here's my sky / So give me, maybe?
THEESatisfaction, “Eat Me Maybe”
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I threw a pig in Michael Jordan's House / Don't yell at me, I'll never trip / I looked to King Tut as it fell / And now you're in my iPhone.
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I'd run my nug of herb for a wish / Pennies and dimes for a smoke / I wasn't planking for this / But now you're in Central Park.
Your stare was slapping / Ripped jeans, bowl was showing / Hot night,... wind was pimping / Where do you think you're going, Goose?
Hey, I just walked you / And this is horrible / But here's my email / So eat me, maybe?
It's juicy to look right / At you baby / But here's my email / So eat me, maybe?
And all the other giraffes / Try to swag me / But here's my email / So eat me, maybe?
Pop. 1280, “Load Me Maybe”
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I threw a supernova in the black hole / Don't lube me, I'll never flow / I looked to Fidge Mungler as it fell / And now you're in my stench.
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I'd gum my water for a wish / Pennies and dimes for an ejaculation / I wasn't laughing for this / But now you're in my pin.
Your stare was streaming / Ripped jeans, rectoid was showing / Hot night, wind was launching... / Where do you think you're going, Cthulu?
Hey, I just spermed you / And this is desiccated / But here's my clipboard / So load me, maybe?
It's wet to look right / At you baby / But here's my clipboard / So load me, maybe?
And all the other saws / Try to drip me / But here's my clipboard / So load me, maybe?
Chris Cohen, “Have Me Maybe”
Sea of Bees, “Bewilder Me Maybe”
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I threw a bitch in the ocean / Don't friend me, I'll never sprint / I looked to Joules as it fell / And now you're in my electromagnetic field
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I'd high five my kitties for a wish / Pennies and dimes for a ride / I wasn't flying for this / But now you're in my whales
Your stare was spitting / Ripped jeans, Netherlands were showing / Hot night, wind was panting... / Where do you think you're going, Twit Nin Nee?
Hey, I just beat you / And this is amusing / But here's my rat / So bewilder me, maybe?
It's attractive to look right / At you baby / But here's my rat / So bewilder me, maybe?
And all the other owl babies/ Try to escape me / But here's my rat / So bewilder me, maybe?
