Review

Thomas Jefferson Slave Apartments, Bait And Switch

  • 1995
  • Label: Old 3C Records / IODA

Gloriously punny punk.

Warners 'reportedly lavished all of $800 on these aging Columbus, Ohio punks for their shambling debut — but, of course, that's in 1995 dollars. Adjusted for inflation, this album must be worth at least a grand, and both Ron House's geeky blurt and Bob Petric's junky guitar slashes deserve every penny.

As the lead singer of '80s indie jokers Great Plains, House asked the important questions about his scene: "Why do punk rock guys go out with new wave girls?" (If you have to ask…) With the same keen wit, he unholsters his "itchy middle finger" and documents the life of an aging bohemian on "Negative Guest List" ("Even if I pay I can't get in"), "Down to High Street" (about the only place in Columbus worth getting sloshed) and the swaggering "You Can't Kill Stupid."

And he's still got an eye for the new wave girls, posing the crucial question about a quiet yet oddly flirtatious scenester: "Is she shy or is she stuck up?" But the punkest masterstroke here is TJSA's cymbal-heavy aerial bombardment on "RnR Hall of Fame," a diatribe with lyrics that should be engraved at the base of the Terminal Tower. "I don't want to see Eric Clapton's stuffed baby!" And "Blow it up before Steve Albini makes a speech!" And, above all, "Cleveland's cool! Cleveland's cool!"

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